What I Have Lived For

What I Have Lived For
  Bertrand Russell
  Three passions, simple but overwhelmingly strong, have governed my life: the longing for love, the search for knowledge, and unbearable pity for the suffering of mankind. These passions, like great winds, have blown me hither and thither, in a wayward course, over a deep ocean of anguish, reaching to the verge of despair.
  I have sought love, first, because it brings ecstasy --- ecstasy so great that I would have sacrificed all the rest of life for a few hours of this joy. I have sought it, next, because it relieves loneliness --- that terrible loneliness in which one shivering consciousness looks over the rim of the world into cold unfathomable lifeless abyss. I have sought it, finally, because in the union of love I have seen, in a mystic miniature, the prefiguring vision of the heaven that saints and poets have imagined. This is what I sought, and though it might seem too good for human life, this is what --- at last --- I have found.
   With equal passion I have sought knowledge. I have wished to understand the hearts of men, I have wished to know why the stars shine. And I have tried to apprehend the Pythagorean power by which number holds away above the flux. A little of this, but not much, I have achieved.
  Love and knowledge, so far as they were possible, led upward toward the heavens. But always pity brought me back to earth. Echoes of cries of pain reverberated in my heart. Children in famine, victims tortured by oppressors, helpless old people a hated burden to their sons, and the whole world of loneliness, poverty, and pain make a mockery of what human life should be. I long to alleviate the evil, but I cannot, and I too suffer.
  This has been my life. I have found it worth living, and I would gladly live it again if the chance were offered to me.
  我寻找爱,首先,因为它令人心醉神迷,这种沉醉是如此美妙,以至于我愿意用余生来换取那几个小时的快乐。我寻找爱,其次是因为它会减轻孤独,置身于那种可怕的孤独中,颤抖的灵魂在世界的边缘,看到冰冷的、死寂的、无底深渊。我寻找爱,还因为在爱水乳交融时,在一个神秘的缩影中,我见到了先贤和诗人们所想象的、预览的天堂。 这就是我所追求的,尽管对于凡人来说,这好像是一种奢望。但这是我最终找到的。